I didn't try to buy my way out of my house discontent, although I was tempted to all the time. I squirreled away inspiration and ideas. I tried to focus on the change that was to come -- even though in the beginning -- it was YEARS away. Some days were depressing for sure.
It sucked quite honestly. I avoided lovely places like Target, and Home Goods. I wistfully browsed magazines and then online through Blogs, Houzz, and of course the granddaddy: Pinterest. I daydreamed a lot of the someday. I envied my friends with their homes, all a little different, but infused with their style and their stamp of home.
We saved as much as we could, and sacrificed the current It thing, until it was priced as the common thing.
I tried not to harbor resentfulness, but it was hard. We had many late night discussions about the when, the how, the magic, of what was to come of our home plans. That part was invigorating and would buoy my spirits.
It was a roller-coaster -- one day I was full of energy and the can do attitude and the next day I am depressed because we're 3 years or 4 years (which ended up being about 6) away from starting the project and I am living in a house that does not reflect my soul one iota.
I put all of my creative energy into creating a yard -- creating an outside view for my someday home. I did as much entertaining as I could when the weather was good so we could be outside. I got used to everyone saying what a "great yard!" we had and side stepping our house. One year when my husband asked what I wanted for my birthday and then later our anniversary (I don't think he took me seriously the first time) I answered, 'an arbor between these 2 beds'.
Two years later for Mothers Day and my birthday I got a vegetable garden and a garden shed. You can kind of see each in the picture below. The pond area was built at the same time as the shed. We all joked that it was too bad we couldn't live in the garden shed. It looked so much better than the house.
I volunteered at the school, & I joined the PTO board. I was the Team Mom on all the boys sports teams. I started running. One year I kept track of my miles and by the end of the year I had run 1,087 miles. I put my head down. I focused on my family. I tried to keep moving forward.
Did I mention that it sucked?
Whatever I could do to not wallow, I did.... not to say that I didn't have my moments....more like days.
But, when I see how my bathroom is shaping up, I'm so happy I didn't care that my bathroom rug didn't match the bathroom wall color....or the towels...and that it was all 15+ years old -- (forest green and burgundy anyone?). I'm happy I just used what we had and let that be good enough.
Delayed gratification sucks, but it's worth it.
Sharing with: By Stephanie Lynn, Home Stories AtoZ, Imparting Grace, Common Ground, Jennifer Rizzo, Nancherrow, City Farmhouse